Manly women and feminine men

Ever looked around you and wondered why woman are so intent on being manly and guys are becoming more feminine?

When I was 17, I remember trying to get to sleep in a room full of girls. My usual tactic for getting to sleep is to close my eyes and pretend I’m sleeping, even when I’m spoken too. This enables my senses to slowly lose consciousness, and I drift into a tentative slumber. It was this awkward time between waking and sleeping that I overheard two of the girls talking. One mentioned my name and put all my half asleep senses on red alert. “She is so girly! Did you see the way she climbed the fence. That’s all fine, but I reckon we should all be a bit manly.”

At first, that made me feel hurt, because the subtext behind the words was this: I wasn’t good enough the way I was. Soon afterwards though, I developed a very stubborn attitude towards being at all manly. I’m a woman, what do you expect? I’m not going hunting for wild boar, leaping over fences like tarzan or squishing a coca cola can with my skull. Why? Because I don’t want too! I’m the Arwen in this Lord of the Rings show, and that’s that. I’ll fight for those I love, and endure, but I’ll do it in such a way which lets me be gentle, compassionate and feminine.

Nevertheless, those words stuck with me all these years. So many women become ingratiatingly independent and even insist the world would be better without men. Yet, they are all trying to be like men (normally a very passive version), which is a tad hypocritical really. They are becoming what they claim to hate, then saying the world is better for it. Without men, the consequence is all their sons will become feminine and lack back bones, and their daughters will become the same latte drinking, self-satisfying, burnt out woman they are.

As you can see, feminism is not an -ism I adhere too. I’m all for treating men like they should be treated, and giving them chances to be heros. (heros like batman, not ‘gay’ as the new, left wing dictionary would have you believe) How? Well, waiting for them to open doors, giving them heavy things to carry, allowing them to twist open that stupid bottle and even asking them to walk me home. I remember asking a guy friend of mine one night to walk me to my car, and he seemed very taken aback. It was hard for me to ask him, but he soon beamed with importance as he performed the role of protector brilliantly. Then there are other guy friends of mine who seem to think I’m being completely silly for asking. ‘nothing ever happens in Auckland, you’ll be fine’. Thanks, I’ll tell that to the rapist lurking in the bushes. I’ll also tell that to my friends who have been raped multiple times. I suspect they’d of liked a guy handy to KAPOW the perpetrator to kingdom come. It’s this attitude that makes me understand why woman want to be men. 

So, while woman should treat men like heros, Men need to treat woman with love and respect. Aside from being her protector or her strength, to love a woman is to tell her she is beautiful. Not just telling the supermodels, but to the ones who have a certain beauty about them. If you notice it, speak up! It means a million $ more to a woman if a man tells her how special she is.

I was sitting in a waiting room with my mother the other day, and the most precious little child walked in the room. She clearly had deformities in her face, and some of the world would say she's ugly. I thought she was absolutely gorgeous! Why? Because she had so much life and passion within her just bursting to be unleashed! She strutted in with her ‘My Little Pony’ suitcase and skipped around the room, her mother looking on proudly. I wish I’d had a chance to tell her how beautiful she really was, and never to listen to anyone who told her otherwise.

Look for these moments. If she smells good, tell her. She may have braces, frizzy, unwashed hair and bright orange puff sleeves on top of lime green trousers, but if she has the most catching eyes, she’d love to know. Especially if there are no strings attached. You aint asking her for a date, just stating a fact. She'll remember it for the rest of her days.